Father's Day
by NightVSlash985
Summary: What happens when the batboys try to come up with a surprise for their father on father's day? Well the boys are about to find out! Humor and family fluff fic. Rated T for Jason's language
1. You Woke Me Up At Midnight For This!

Fathers Day

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Batman or Batman related, all rights go to DC Universe.

Bruce Wayne had come back from a late patrol and wanted nothing more than to sleep in for a few more hours, however he was awoken by the sound of yelling and something breaking. He was debating whether or not it was worth getting up to when he smelled something burning. Sighing, he got up to investigate knowing that if he didn't it was likely to end in a bloodbath and with the mansion burning followed the sounds of yelling and found his way into the kitchen. What he saw made his eyes widen in shock.

"WHAT is the meaning of this?!"

Bruce wasn't sure if he wanted to know,The once spotless kitchen (due to Alfred's hard work) was now sprinkled in flour, egg shells littered the floor, everything was upturned and everything looked distinctively burned.

Jason, Dick,Tim and Damian slowly turned around, identical looks of horror growing on their face.

"Umm it's not really our fault ...much...you see"Dick said, however at the batglare sent his way,decided another tactic was needed"Damian will explain it!"

Damian glowered at Dick before sneering "Tt. If the imbecile was more aware of his surroundings none of this would have happened."

"Hey,how was it my fault when you were the one who forgot to turn off the stove?!"Tim yelled, enraged at Damian's unfair now they were both so caught up in the argument they forgot that Bruce was there.

"Tt, If you had not added oil, the fire would have more been easily contained"

"That wasn't even me!"Tim said, sounding exasperated.

"For the last time, I thought it was water!"Jason ranted.

"ENOUGH!"

The boys gulped and turned towards Bruce, Jason looking sheepish, Damian tried to loom superior but the terror was obvious in his eyes and Tim looked liked a deer caught in headlights.

"Now"Bruce said,pinching the bridge of his nose trying to be calm"What exactly happened?"

"Well..."They said in unison

4 hours earlier

Dick shrieking at you at midnight and dumping a cold bucket of water onto your face is not one of the more pleasant ways to wake up, Tim had to learn it the hard way.

"Bruce is gone, Bruce is gone Bruce is gone!" Dick chanted with a wide smile on his face.

"I _know_ ,he's out on patrol" Time replied, using all his self control not to punch his eldest brother in the face. " What I don't know is why you are waking me up at freaking _midnight_ to tell me something EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE KNOWS!

"Timmy!I was just here to get your help but if you insist on being so rude to me I guess Damian or Jason and do it" Dick huffed, his lips becoming a big pout that looked very out of place on the 25 year old man.

" The demon spawn and the psycho killer? You must be desperate" Tim said rather nonchalantly, though his curiosity was sparked as to why they'd need J _ason_ here. "So…what do you need?"

"Awww, I knew you'd come around! See you to the living room in 10 minutes, don't be late!" Dick chirped,beaming brighter than the sun, before practically _prancing_ out of the room. Tim let out a rather defeated sigh.

The Living Room

Tim dragged his feet down the hallway only to bump into a disgruntled looking Damian.

"Tt. Watch where you are going you peasant.. Some of us have more important things to do than getting milk at night." Damian sneered.

"I wasn't getting milk! And anyway, I doubt anything your doing at midnight is that important, after all you were banned from patrol weren't you? Tim said in an exasperated tone of voice, rolling his eyes as he did.

" Father simply doesn't want you feeling bad when I inevitably show you up in patrol, as always. And Grayson didn't even tell you, did he? After all your not fit to know." Damian said snidely.

"Oh, so Dick told you too? And in case you didn't know, Dick told me first!"

"Tt. Lying to make yourself feel better won't make you any less of a disgrace"

Just then Dick bounded into the living room with a wide smile that Tim did not trust and a cell phone in his hand

" Grayson I demand you tell drake right now that you told me first about needing help"

"In your dreams demon spawn! C'mon Dick, Damian can take it." Tim urged

" Umm… Well, guys….." Dick stuttered nervously, his eyes scanning the room for another door since Damian had blocked the one he came through. Tim and Damian looked at him expectantly. Suddenly a window broke and shards of glass littered the floor while Jason could be seen in the middle of all of it.

"Jason! I'm so glad you came!" Dick ran over to hug him, looking extremely relieved.

"Tt. What is Todd here? Does he not belong in Arkham?" Damian demanded.

"For once I have to agree with him. I know you said you might ask for his help but seriously?He tried to kill us!No offense Jason." Tim could not have sound more indignant if he tried, even though he and Jason were on better terms now he was still wary about letting him into his house.

"See, I kinda need his help, since it _is_ Father's Day.I know he might not be…. _stable_ but he is still our brother." Dick said, mentally bracing himself for the outburst to come. He was not disappointed.

"Dick! You woke us up at midnight for _Father's Day?_ Not that it isn't important-it is- but seriously, _midnight?!"_ Tim said, sounding completely shocked that the former boy wonder had woken him up at such an ungodly hour for this.

"Wow thanks for the vote of confidence Dickiebird, i'm touched" Jason drawled out, his face perfectly relaxed, but his eyes were telling another story, flashing around wildly like a wild something seemed to register in his head "What the hell?! You told me this was about the Black Mask or else I never would have stepped foot into this hellhole!" Jason growled the words out, his face now guarded and his body tense.

"Tt. Your secret missions are very disappointing Grayson. You brought a known criminal into our house for Father's Day? He is not our father's son and neither is Drake for that matter." Damian said snidely, somehow managing to look his nose down on everyone though he was still quite short.

"Hey! I am as much Bruce Wayne's son as you-"

"GUYS! Please, can we just get along? For Bruce, just for today?" Dick's eyes were wider than

should be possible and his voice was practically begging the to stay. Both Tim and Damian seem to be willing to stay, but Jason was another matter,

"Why the _fuck_ should I stay with a man who didn't give a damn that I died for his cause? Who let my _murderer live?_ For that matter why should he want a murderer ere anyway?He made it perfectly clear that he wishes I was never his son and _regrets, fucking regrets,_ ever taking me in. Give me a reason, Golden boy, just one fucking reason to stay."Jason spat each word out venomously, his eyes narrowing into slits.

"Because he's still our _father._ I know you might not believe it but he still loves you. Please stay, maybe not for Bruce but for _me._ For your _brothers_ , please? We _need_ you, _I_ need you'" Dick had just brought out his trump card, if this didn't get Jason to stay, nothing will. Jason sighed.

"Fucking fine"

"YES!" Dick cheered

"So what are we doing for Father's Day?"Although Tim posed the question to the whole room his eyes were on else soon followed his lead.

Dick could feel all eyes on him so he looked around frantically, before spotting the door to the kitchen. "Baking! Guys lets bake a cake for Bruce!"

"I don't know dick, isn't it kinda complicated, we just might blow the kitchen up." Tim squeaked out sounding completely and utterly nervous

"What ,Babybird? Scared of a little kitchen?" Jason said in a mocking tone,his best shit eating grin on and his eyes held a devious glint.

"Tt. Baking is a simpleton's job, any fool can do it. Though that makes sense as to why _you_ seem unsure Drake." Damian could not have sounded not snobbish if he stalked over to the kitchen with his chin tilted upwards and his arm crossed over each other, the perfect picture of a haughty young prince. Jason prowled behind, his eyes never stopped scanning the room.

"Fine! If anything happens don't blame me!" Tim sounded both resigned and exasperated, throwing his hands up. Then he went too over to the kitchen, with Dick skipping along behind him, talking a mile a minute into his ear with him catching only a few words, namely "family-bonding" and "isn't this wonderful?" Tim however had a feeling in his chest that decidedly told him that no, this is not in any way shape or form _wonderful._ He did not know how right he was.


	2. The Shit Has Hit The Fan

Kitchen

"Sooooooo what do we do now?" Dick asked voicing the question everyone was silently wondering

"Tt. I'd assume we have to get one of those recipe books and find a recipe suitable for father" Damian said arrogantly

"Way to state the obvious mini B" Jason said sarcastically

Tim however had ignored them all and had already gotten a recipe book and seemed to have found one he'd liked.

"How about this one? Lasagna with strawberry shortcake?" Tim suggested

"Sounds great! How about me and Dami make the strawberry shortcake and Timmy you and Jayson can do the lasagna" Dick enthused, his eyes lighting up in anticipation. Receiving nods and a "Tt." they went to their corners of the kitchens and set to work.

* * *

Tim & Jason

"Ok so Jason who about you boil the water and put the pasta inside while I find the sauce and the meat?" Tim asked

"Whatever you say fanboy"Jason replied, before heading to the stove , taking out a random pot, pouring in some water from he sink till it filled the top, then he put it on top of the stove and turned the fire to"high".

"Replacement? I'm done" Jason called out.

Tim meanwhile had already taken out a plate and some tomato sauce.

"It says to take out your sauce and uhhh pour it onto the plate?Thy didn't specify the sauce so I thought tomato sauce would work." Tim said hesitantly, looking at the recipe book that was lying on the table.

Jason nodded on acknowledgment then took the tomato sauce and gave the edge of the bottle a "light" tap. Half the bottle came flooding out, overflowing the plate and slowly creeping onto the cookbook.

"Shit! What the flying fuck are we gonna do now?" Jason screamed

"I don't know! Save the cookbook!Get a rag!" Tim yelled

Jason tore a tablecloth off of a nearby table, causing the plates that had been resting on top of it to fall off. Then when he handed the table cloth over to Tim, Tim had in his panic to rush over to the cookbook knocked over a table and the pot on the stove in the process. The fire caught onto the table cloth and suddenly everything was being set ablaze. At the exact same moment Jason decided to throw a bucket of oil onto the fire. That was when, according to Jason, "The shit had hit the fan"


	3. Running Around Like A Headless Chicken

Dick & Damian

"So let's see-"Dick said enthusiastically, with a smile that seemed to eat up his face."-apparently you need 20 strawberries, cream ,sugar, ice cream(?)and uh milk."His face now no longer cheerful, he bit his lips and seemed extremely doubtful about the instructions he had just given, a frown slowly making it's way onto his gave Dick an unimpressed look, snatched the cookbook from his hands and frowned as he saw no fault, the instructions were exactly as Grayson had said them to be.

"Tt. As everything seems to be in order, I will go collect the ingredients while you find the equipment."As Damian went off in his search for the ingredients, Dick studied the instructions. Then he found a blender and plugged it in. Damian came back with the ingredients so Dick read the instructions out loud.

"Ok, Dami, so they say to take all he strawberries and blend it." Dick said confidently, his doubts all but gone since a cookbook found in _Alfred's_ kitchen couldn't be threw the 20 strawberries in and blended them.

"See,Grayson? I can do this splendidly, Father-" Damian never got to finish the sentence since the strawberries had clogged up the blender and suddenly everything flew out and landed on top of Dick's head. Then, Titus bounded out of nowhere, lunged at Dick and licked all he strawberries off. Dick lost his balance and hit Damian, who steadied himself with the blender, causing it to fall in the all fell down on top of the blender and Damian could hear the satisfying _crunch_ of the blender they had recovered, Damian shot Dick a sullen look.

"Whatever! We can mash it ourselves!" Dick said, still not having lost his cheerfulness. At Damian's nod of approval, they went and got spoons and began mashing the strawberries in the bowl, then they poured the ice cream in and Damian poured in 10 tablespoons of sugar and cream,Dick took their "dessert" into the oven and they relaxed for 10 minutes. They were in the middle of debating whether Bruce or Jason were more emotionally constipated when suddenly a loud _BANG!_ startled the living daylights out of them, seconds later bits of metal and pink gooey substance was raining over them. Then, when Dick turned around to call Tim and Jason for help, he saw a gigantic fire. Tim was flapping his arms around like a penguin and Jason was pouring every kind of liquid substance into the fire. Dick did the only thing he could at the moment. He panicked and began running circles around the room, waving his arm around like a headless chicken. Damian, however, had the sense to call the firefighters. They came in a heartbeat and the fire was gone. After staring at each other for a while, Dick stated the obvious.

"Looks like there's not gonna be a dinner, huh?" He was just trying to lighten the mood but instead he caused an argument about who had screwed up more.

"Well, the lasagna would've been fine if _someone_ hadn't thrown oil in a fire"

"Drake, we all know you are stupid, there is no need to reference yourself fin third person."

"I was just _trying_ to throw water into it, which btw is more than _fanboy_ did, flapping your arms like a penguin doesn't suit you, you know."

"Guys, maybe we should all just-"

"This is your fault Grayson, you were the one who suggested cooking, not to mention you were of absolutely no help. Ally uo did was run around like a headless chicken."

"Hey! Running around like a headless chicken was _perfectly_ reasonable, thank you very at least I could turn an oven on."

That was how the bat boys dissolved into an argument that was so heated, they failed to notice the ominous presence of Bruce Wayne.

Present

"I am waiting for an explanation." Bruce said, cursing himself for ever getting out of that bed.

However he was not met with an answer, instead his question caused all the boys to start arguing again, the only words he heard were something about oil, water, penguins and a were so into their argument that they failed to notice him Alfred came back from England at 8 o'clock the next day the scene he saw was one of 4 boys arguing and fighting, along with a destroyed kitchen. Needless to say he was not pleased at all.

Author's Note: You know, I kinda wish i'd worked on this story for longer so I could say"After all this time blah blah blah" but since I'd worked on it a grand total of 3(?) days I can't. What I _would_ like to say is thank you for all you viewers, reviewers(sorry though I can't read them yet since there's some kind of glitch on fanfiction?I'll reply as soon as I can) and all you favorite-ers, you guys are the best! I don't know if by average i'm on the low or high end, but since this is my first story i'll take anything I can get. I know my story is bad, but I ran out of ideas at the end, and honestly lost all motivation so I apologies. Hope you like it Again, thank you to each and everyone of you for reading this story!


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